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So I have decided to cull some of my friends list. I cut people with whom I haven't had that much interaction and/or whose journals seem inactive. If you really want to be my friend feel free t comment here and I will consider adding you back again.


In honor of World Breastfeeding Week I decided to do my very first DITL. I am a 36 yr old WOHM of a 6 yr old and an almost 6 month old.

Here is my day - it's a first DITL so bear with me!

Warnings are lots of talk of breastfeeding and pumping. Pix of breastmilk and discreet pumping and nursing and also reference to child deathCollapse )

Nursing Story - Matthew

I am restarting being an adopt_a_mom and so thought I would write up a nursing story for Matthew.

Matthew was born on 2/12/11 via surgical birth following a great trial of labor (vbac attempt). See his birth story here

Much of the earliest parts of his nursing story I am cutting and pasting from there:

"His first nursing went really really well. I had already started producing colostrum and so he was actually able to get something. He had a great latch which continued to be fairly good. He sometimes does not want to open his mouth big enough and he also can clamp down pretty hard if I let him slip off from his latch when he's nearing completion.

They took his blood sugar since he was so big and it was a bit low. I managed to stave off the threat of formula by nursing him a whole bunch and using breast massage to get as much of the colostrum in him as possible. They did 4 blood sugar tests over the next several hours and it got better and better. ...

While in the nursery they weighed him and he had lost about 3% of his birth weight. On Tuesday they weighed him again and he went down to 8lbs13oz (11%) and his bilirubin levels were also rising. They were 7 on Sunday, 13 on Monday, and 15 on Tuesday. He was also looking yellowish. I had noticed that on Sunday and had remarked to Marty that I bet he was getting jaundiced. Tuesday I was set to be discharged and they let me know that there was a possibility of me being disharged without him because he might need to be under the bili lights. Since my milk was still taking its time coming fully in (it was just starting) I agreed to supplement with formula via SNS (and also pump to get EBM) in an effort to get him discharged with me. This worked as the bili numbers that came in on Tuesday were not enough to get him admitted. I would have to return to the peds office the following day for another check.

I am disappointed that he got the formula but I really really did not want him to have to remain in the hospital. I would have been able to stay with him but hubby would have had to go home and I just did not want to be left alone there. In the end of it all, he only got at most about 2-3 ounces total in a 24 hr period....

I continued using the SNS until about midnight when OMG my milk came in. And along with my milk came the chills. I have never experienced the chills so bad with any flu. I did not have a fever but I was so cold. I wrapped myself in many blankets and just shivered for quite a while. Thank G-d during this period that he did not want to nurse because I could not have held him. Finally, the chills died down and we managed to go to bed. I proceeded for the next several days to get the chills whenever I would get cold. "

Once my milk came in and the chills went away (thank G-d!) there really weren't any more significant problems. One of the best parts of Kaiser care is that all breastfeeding babies get seen for their first 1-2 day appointment with a lactation specialist who handles weighing and newborn care issues as well as provides BF support. At that appointment, labs are taken for bilirubin (if needed). His bilirubin levels thankfully had remained the same and so the LC recommended that I stop the supplement. Heh - I already had at midnight the night before. I knew that the baby was getting milk and there was no need to supplement.

In preparation for writing this, I went back and re-read Sadie's nursing story I can't believe I went through all of that feeding, pumping, supplementing, weight gain, latch, nipple shield, etc stuff. Matthew has been a breeze in comparison. Really, the only thing I have had to deal with on-going is an oversupply and consequent overactive letdown. I manage the oversupply by trying to make sure I don't switch breasts too soon and trying to not over-pump but also not allowing them to get too engorged. I can easily pump 8-9 ounces in 5-7 minutes on top of what he eats. Ensuring he spends enough time on one boob ensures he gets more of the hindmilk and helps to tame the production a little bit. My freezer stash is getting really big again.

He's a champion nurser - his latch never really hurt - but he still does have a tendency to clamp down/bite if he slides off the nipple a bit. At first I thought it was because he was taming the flow of the milk but actually since he does it at the end when it's slow I think he is actually mad the flow isn't as big. The trouble is he almost always gives me a big smile/laughs when he does it and I can't help but to smile back. I am trying to train myself to give the disapproval look and to put him down :) When the flow's too much he coughs and sputters. He also is much more of a "spitter" than Sadie ever was. I joke that he likes to binge drink in the morning and then he sometimes lets me have a bunch of it back. He goes through bibs like a mad man.

Sadie was supplemented via bottle (something I would not recommend now - I didn't know about the SNS until too late back then) from nearly the beginning but since Matthew was doing so well, I didn't introduce one until he was a bit over 6 weeks and he will NOT take the bottle at all from anyone except for me. And even then I have to sneak it in him after he has been latched on to me for a bit. And then he will only suck for a couple of times before he screams and looks at me like I must have lost my mind. I worry that he will be hungry when I go back to work in a few weeks but my childcare provider says he won't starve himself and I just need to relax and she will help me deal with it.

So here we are at 11wks 3days and he is 15lbs. He dropped to 8lbs 13oz (11%) so has gained nearly 7 lbs in that time. That's 9ounces a week! The plan is much like with Sadie: exclusively nurse to 6 months; pump until he's about 13 months and continuing to nurse until 2 yrs old and then after, until he's ready to stop.

Well, shit

Apparently, LJ, in the latest HUGE [potential] violation of privacy, has made it so that you can crosspost your posts and comments to your facebook and/or twitter. And you can post your comments to others's LOCKED posts too. I just tried it and voila! my comment to my own flocked post showed up on my FB page. Since I have not shared my LJ handle with all of my FB friends/family, I find this an impressive [potential] violation of my privacy.

Yes, I get that nothing one writes on the Internet is sacred -- anyone can cut and paste for crying out loud. But, the fact that they have made it sooo easy makes this potential violation more of a certainty.

So here's your one and only one warning: if you post one of your comments made in my journal to Facebook or Twitter without my express permission I will unfriend you. I take this very seriously as this journal is something I would rather not have my extended family know about.

I hope they fix this.


For Euna

This morning, like every morning, I turned off the snooze on my phone alarm for the last time and I read my twitter feed so I can find out the news. One of the twitter feeds announced that Euna Lee, one of the hostages freed from N.Korea was reunited with her 4 year old daughter.

I immediately turned around and snuggled so close to Sadie that it was impossible to get safely closer. I wanted to hold her forever. I smelled in her delicious scent and caressed her soft cheeks and watched her breathe that slow deep breath of child-sleep. I put her hand in mine and just lay there feeling so lucky. How much a privilege it is to get to do this Mama thing. Sure, it's hard and tough and there are days when I want to run far far far away. In the end though, the thought of it disappearing tears me to pieces. As I watch Euna Lee with her daughter I find myself bawling, wondering how she will ever be able to put her little girl down.



Infant removed from parents when mother refuses consent to cesarean section - baby born healthy vaginally

I can't even begin to describe the level of seething this article brought up in me. Yes, I know the piece does not give the full story here. And I haven't researched it fully. But still. How can a woman's refusal to allow an invasive surgical procedure to her body result in this??? WTF???

Why isn't NARAL reporting this? A woman has the right to decide what happens to her body from day 1 through day x of her pregnancy. This solidifies my pro-choice stance. It solidifies my beliefs about the way labor and delivery ought to be managed (hint: not that way). It makes me so mad I am nearly shaking.

[ETA]: A commenter in another journal posted this Salon article which gives some better insight into the abuse and neglect decision. I will repost my comment here:

Thanks for this. I am going to amend my post to include it. I still think that the abuse and neglect claims originated or came to a threshold by her refusal of a cesarean.

It is my opinion that mental illness, no matter how psychotic, should not preclude a person from refusing consent for an invasive surgical procedure when the procedure is not meant to be life-saving for the person undertaking the procedure.

I think the reason for my (and others') stark reaction to the post is that my own csection experience leads me to believe that even if the article weren't 100% true, it could have been. This is what I truly ranted about - that the obstetric world today places little to no value on the woman's role, rights, and feelings in the process of birth.


I was going to post that I have lost 3lbs this week for a total loss so far of 23.2 lbs (woo hoo!) but then flotsomnjetsom posted this and I feel it needs to be posted everywhere.

political pictures for your blog
see more Political Pictures

Small friends cut

I have done a small friends cut. Basically if I am not your friend or you haven't posted in ages I am removing you. 99% of you are not affected.

Thanks Ellen

This made my aggravating day yesterday a bit better!


Alameda HS Info UPDATE

Tomorrow's counter-protest to Phelps has been canceled - sort of. artemis_rich does a better job of explaining the what and why here:

Sorry for the confusion. Apparently protesting Obama's grandmother's funeral is a better PR story for the haters.


Join Alameda H.S. Students in Buffering
Against Fred Phelps

On Fri, Nov. 14, Alameda High School students will be performing a production
of The Laramie Project which is going to be picketed by Fred Phelps of the
"God Hates Fags" group.

They are trying to get as many people there to show support for the
and hopefully act as a buffer against the kids being further traumatized by that
group's despicable tactics.

They are expected to be there from 6:30-7:45 PM so we are asking people to
arrive around 6-6:15 PM. Alameda High is located at 2201 Encinal Ave, Alameda,
CA 94501.


I no longer am willing to be friends with anyone who voted yes to any of the anti-same sex marriage ballot items in this most recent election Arkansas, Fl, AZ, or CA.

I just can't do it.

I can't be willing to have my personal feelings and my personal life be exposed to people who would take anyone's right to marry away from them. The people I wish to surround myself with are people who cherish others and who do not demonstrate bigotry on the one hand and then decry persecution on the other.

I keep thinking about all the people who throughout the ages have stood by while one group of people have started a campaign of hate towards another. The white neighbors who said or did nothing while members of their community kept blacks off the stools at the counter or from attending school. The Germans who said nothing when the first, seeming innocuous, laws against the Jews began. The white people in South Africa who perhaps did not actively discriminate against the Africans but who did nothing about their neighbors who did. The list could go on and on. The person who watches another get beaten but refuses to help.

I just can't do it.

And maybe that makes me a bigot in a way. But I can live with myself. Because I am not advocating that THEY should have any less rights than myself or anyone else. They have the right to their own opinion. I would want for them the same opportunities, or more, than I have. I do not wish to make my life any more important (or less) than theirs. But they do me and others. And I can't stand by and watch it. I just can't.

So, if you have voted yes on 8 here in CA or yes on any of the other anti-same sex laws in this country in this last election cycle please remove me from your flist and I will you as well.

More on Prop 8 - Prop 8 will harm children

From a BABN list member who is a Fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics


AAP-CA has taken an OPPOSE position on Proposition 8, the November ballot initiative that would restrict legal marriage in California to between “a man and a woman.” If passed Proposition 8 would accomplish this through amending the state constitution.

AAP-CA is opposed to this initiative by unanimous vote of our District Board, based on what is best for children in all family structures given the support and benefits legal marriage brings. The AAP-CA has a clear policy supporting nondiscriminatory marriage, which reads as follows:

"Respecting the Rights of the Child: The Need for Nondiscriminatory Civil Marriage"
Policy Statement of The American Academy of Pediatrics, California District
April 2005

The mission of the American Academy of Pediatrics, California District IX (AAP-CA) is to promote the health and well-being of all California's children. The physical growth, development, social and mental well-being of all children is supported by allowing parents a full range of parental legal rights, such as Social Security survivor benefits, health benefits for dependent children, and legally recognized consent for education and medical decisions. In order to protect and promote the best interests of the child, the AAP-CA supports equal access for all California children to the legal, financial and emotional protections of civil marriage for their parents, without discrimination based on family structure.



Oct. 24th, 2008

I really like this one:

From the Republicans:


Oct. 17th, 2008

So last night at the CSZ board meeting I found out that November 9th is the commemoration of Kristallnacht. I came home and did some research about it and the Nuremberg Laws and found out that the very first discriminatory law against the Jews was a ban on the marriage between Jews and non-Jews. The very first one. See here and here.

Now, I am not saying that the pro-prop 8 people are Nazis but I do think that it should give us all food for thought. Discriminatory laws based on beliefs by one group of people are there to enforce power, keep people in their place and can take on an insidious snow ball effect of further discriminatory laws and prohibitions.

A large reason why the Holocaust was able to happen is that people within Germany and on the outside of Germany did not speak up against the seemingly "benign" first laws of the third reich. They didn't speak up because they were afraid or ashamed or they didn't think it was their problem or they just could not fathom that such a thing was happening. Not all the people in Germany who "allowed" that heinous act to happen were actively anti-semitic. Yes, that's right folks. They didn't care one way or the other about the Jews but they did care what people in authority thought. They were willing to stand by whatever these people said even when deep down they knew better.

Now I understand the very real psychology behind "group think" and the effect of essentially a mob - people do things that later they may deeply regret. But at some point individual responsibility has to come in play.

I have NEVER felt so strongly about an election or issue. This amendment is a violation of civil rights, our constitutional freedom of religion, and I fear the snowball effect of discriminatory measures such as this. What comes next?


More No on 8 stuff

A good friend of ours has written a moving story of how so this proposition is going to so severely affect his family. He also talks about how he was excommunicated from the Mormon church for his sexuality and how his family and his partner's friends actions in support of Prop 8 have been hurtful to him and his child.

Please read this and then go to and donate your money and/or your time to help my friend Trey and his husband stay married and offer their children the same protections all other marriages do.

PS. A large percentage of the prop 8's funding is coming from the Mormons and also from outside CA. If you are on my flist and not in CA please do this as a favor to me - go and donate. From now until Sunday your donation will be doubled. Even $5 is helpful.


Please support this cause - it's important!

The California State Supreme Court ruled in favour of equal rights for everyone but conservatives have put a bill on the California ballot, Proposition 8, to ban gay marriage. They have money and a lot of lies -- and the polls show them ahead. So if you can, please donate now before it was too late!

Their lies are winning – double your dollars for marriage equality TODAY! - Click HERE--

Our right-wing opponents are using their deep pockets to blanket the state with deceptive ads like this. And it's working – the most recent polling puts us five points behind.

The only way to win is by raising enough money to counter their lies. Give today to the HRC California Marriage PAC – No On Proposition 8 – and generous donors Tom Bombardier and John Fowler, along with HRC, will DOUBLE every dollar you give.

Please donate generously today and we'll direct 100% of your contribution to the fight in California.

This counts for everyone, both in AND OUT of the state. Come on people! We can do this! Much of the support from the other side is coming from outside of CA. We need "outside" dollars too!

At the very least, go post this on your own LJ!

(Please note that I generally do not support the HRC due to their stance on ENDA. However, the chance to have the power of your donation doubled is great and so I am supporting this effort. If you would prefer to donate through another organization go here:


Measles and Vaccinations

Parents refusing to have their children vaccinated against measles have helped drive cases of the illness to their worst levels in a dozen years in the United States, health officials reported on Thursday.In 2008 alone, 131 cases of measles have been reported, with 15 serious enough to be hospitalized, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported.

"In the decade before the measles vaccination program began, an estimated 3 to 4 million persons in the United States were infected each year. Of these, 400 to 500 died, 48,000 were hospitalized, and another 1,000 developed chronic disability from measles encephalitis."...
Encephalitis is a life-threatening inflammation of the brain that can be caused by viral infections such as measles. More than 90 percent of the patients were not vaccinated, the CDC said, had no evidence of having been vaccinated, or were babies too young to have been vaccinated.

I'm disabling comments because I am not interested in a vax debate on my journal. I know people have various opinions and I respect peopel's decisions regarding vax for their kids. I just want people to have the info as most of my pro-vax stance comes from a public health perspective as well as having close family members have life long complications from these childhood illnesses (Marty from chicken pox and my mom from polio).

(thanks to flotsomnjetsom for the link)


Toll free activism

In response to heat they're getting from the American Family Association, P&G is conducting a phone poll to see if people are for or against the Luke/Noah storyline on As The World Turns. Even if you don't watch the show, please consider taking a quick moment to support boy kissing and thwart homophobic bigotry. The poll is completely automated. You don't have to talk to anyone. And it really does take all of a second to register your opinion.

Just call 1-800-331-3774 and press #2 to get to the ATWT poll, then press #1 to continue the storyline.

(ganked from bicrim)


My take on formula

I just wanted to clarify my thoughts on formula and breastfeeding for those of you who haven"t read that far back into my LJ.Collapse )

When I post pro-BF stuff or anti-formula stuff I am not pointing fingers at individual people. In my previous post, I was not meaning to imply that that particular mother should or should not be formula feeding. I meant it as another reason why I am glad I nursed Sadie and why others should try.Of course any food product could and probably does to some extent have foreign substances in it.

New to my profile

Save The World - One Click At A Time!

On each of these websites, you can click a button to support the cause -- each click creates funding, and costs you nothing! Bookmark these sites, and click once a day!

Click here to post this on your page or 'blog


Be careful out there mamas (and everyone!)

This happened in Santa Rosa. Woman attacked while baby still in car.



Research study on DHA/ARA 'Fortified" Infant Formula that was not sponsored by a formula company.

Full PDF report here

Highlights of the study that pretty much denounces nearly every health claim the formula industry purportsCollapse )


Yesterday morning I thumb tacked the bottom of my foot on a tack that had fallen off our wall in the middle of the night. Had to pull the damn thing out. owowowowoowowo OW! Thank goodness my tetanus shot is up to date.


Anything That Moves

I sit here holding Issue #1 of Anything That Moves. I don't think I have ever read the entire copy. What a completely radical and progressive and just incredible act of love and perspiration the mag was.

I wish I could resurrect the magazine all by myself. There is much of who I am -was- in that magazine even though I think I only truly worked on one issue maybe 2. But it was through ATM that I got to know the bi-community, the poly/sex scene, myself.

Why do I have this copy? Well, because it is the 20th Anniversary of the Bay Area Bisexual Network and Marty is doing the fancy booklet for the 20th Anniversary Brunch on Sunday Nov 11. The brunch is a combo celebration/fundraiser for BABN. Marty, Sadie and I are going.

Any of you ATM folk want to sponsor a table and sit together? Or maybe write something up about ATM for the booklet? Let me know.

armchair lactvism

I just asked my representatives to co-sponsor the Breastfeeding Promotion Act, and I hope you will too.

As you all know, I was lucky to have an employer that supported my taking the necessary pumping breaks during Sadie's first year of life. Not all mothers have this opportunity but they all should because breastfeeding is so much healthier for the baby and for the mother both in the short term and on a long term basis.

Nanette from the MomsRising team shares why: As the mother of four breast-fed children (including a set of twins), I take it seriously when mothers describe difficulties they encounter trying to breastfeed their babies.

Recently we learned about Sophie Currier, a medical student who needed pumping breaks during her 9-hour board exam. We also learned about Janee McConnell, who was an exceptional employee at a grocery store but could not convince management of the need for a clean, comfortable room in which to pump for her third baby.

Stories like this make me realize that WE must tell our own members of Congress that we want them to pass the Breastfeeding Promotion Act.

We need to take a stand on this or else they won't. A bill goes nowhere without co-sponsors. So we need your help: Ask your Congressperson to co-sponsor the Breastfeeding Promotion Act by clicking below to send a letter right now. In just one click, you can send a letter asking your representatives to co-sponsor The Breastfeeding Promotion Act and also sign a statement of support for the Breastfeeding Promotion Act.


We want to give this Act momentum. Think for a moment about all the things on a ongressperson's mind right now: Iraq, budgets, the 2008 election. They will not give the Breastfeeding Promotion Act the attention it deserves--that we mothers deserve!--unless we demand that they do. Pediatricians say that breastfeeding is best for baby, and MOTHERS make the sacrifice for their babies to give them a great start in life.

Yet mothers often find themselves in additional struggles--with employers or other organizations like the medical testing board--to provide this for their children.

Let's support mothers who are nurturing and caring for the next generation of Americans! Those nursing babies may not be able to vote, but their mothers can! Let's tell our Congresspeople that we care about the Breastfeeding Promotion Act because we care about our babies and fellow citizens.

Please forward this email to your friends and family so they can add their names to our congressional letters and statement of support for breastfeeding mothers and their babies.

Together, our voices CAN make a difference.

Thank you!



Me Myself and I

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